The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
There seems to be a really fundamental lack of understanding both in my office and in the world of public toilets, in how to use a urinal. As I'm fed up of finding the Gents swimming in piss, I have prepared a simple guide which I propose should be stuck to the wall at head height above each and every urinal:
HOW TO USE THIS URINAL
1. Stand directly in front of and facing the urinal.
2. Direct your stream into the centre of the urinal.
You are equipped with a tool that points forward by default.
There is no need to direct your stream onto the floor to the left or to the right of the urinal.
There is no need to direct your stream onto the floor in front of the urinal.
If you are unable to follow these simple instructions, then for god's sake, go into a cubicle and SIT THE HELL DOWN! What are you? A toddler?
All of which is my passive agressive way of moaning about the state of the loos in my office... and at the local pub.... and in the cinema and most restaurants and...
I see your mistake...You have incorrectly assumed that your intended reader actually knows how to read and can do so simultaneously with the task he arrived for...Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
FWIW, the ladies room often isn't much better. So much hovering goes on that there is urine everywhere EXCEPT in the bowl... all that's left in there are the wads and wads of toilet paper that the user put all over the seat to avoid any accidental touching while they sprayed everything else down.
FWIW, the ladies room often isn't much better. So much hovering goes on that there is urine everywhere EXCEPT in the bowl... all that's left in there are the wads and wads of toilet paper that the user put all over the seat to avoid any accidental touching while they sprayed everything else down.
blegh.
-- Edited by Aodan at 17:05, 2008-07-10
I used to think that ladies toilets were pink cushioned soft focus perfumed environments like something out of a 80's Kylie video.
that illusion was shattered after I worked in a nightclub and had to clean them at the end of the night. It is an absolute matter of fact that no matter how bad you think the gents toilets are the ladies are ten times worse.
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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.
