The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Actually, It would probably be French - Stevo's extraordinary grasp of history should be able to confirm that!
That's probably worse though, to be fair.
Thats an interesting point. It would either be the French or the Dutch given that they were sniffing round these waters, in the case of the dutch several hundred years before the British.
Just a couple of hundred miles north lies the Batavia Coast, so named due to the wreck of the dutch ship The Batavia..a fascinating tale of what happens to human beings when they're marooned so far away from their socities- I'd advise anybody to read up on this- worth making a movie for this storyline.
Also off Perth we have Rotnest Island (Rats Nest in dutch) so named as the dutch thought the tiny marcupials there were Rats - when they're actually relatives of the kangeroo. The major factor which makes me think that that Australia would have been colonised by the dutch is the fact that to the north lies Indonesia which was known as the Dutch East Indies for the several hundred years it was a Dutch Colony. Tasmania was also named after Able Tasman - the famous Dutch navigator.The Dutch at that time controlled the Cape Of Good Hope in South Africa and were able to use the strong trade winds of 40 degrees south between Africa and Australia (known as the roaring fourties today) to propell their trade ships towards Indonesia..the trade winds had the habbit of dumping them in far north WA.
Turning to our fair weather friends - the French. It was only after several sightings of French Galloeons off the WA coast that the British colonial authorities in Melbourne (acting alone as sending a message to London and getting a reply would take a year) decided to establish a British presence over here and the town of Albany was established in 1826. 3 years later Captain James Stirling sailed down the Swan River to establish The Swan River Colony (up the swanee was/is a cockney expression as this was the worst place you could be sent as a convict) which later became Perth and Fremantle and British settlement of Western Australia began albeit very slowly until gold was discovered in the 1860's. It wasn't until the 1950's that Perth's population began to soar mainly due to the tens of thousands of 'ten pound poms' migrating here to seek a better life in what was advertised as a 'British California'. Several places to the south have names in connection with the French : Esperance named after the french galleon 'L'Esperance' and Frenchmans Bay one of their stopping points.
There's a town in the south island of new zealand which is entirely French. When the French colonist left France, New Zealand (Zeeland is in Holland incidently) was fair game..after 6 months at sea they arrived a few days after the British had claimed the entire country..they had a choice, become British subjects or clear off..quite funny really..the town is still there (somewhere near Christchurch) but the name escapes me..