The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
ENVIRONMENTAL PUBLIC HEALTH (PUBLIC CLEANSING) REGULATIONS
[...]
Person using sanitary convenience to flush it after using 16. Any person who has urinated or defecated in any sanitary convenience with a flushing system to which the public has access shall flush the sanitary convenience immediately after using it.
[...]
Penalty 30. Any person who contravenes any provision of these Regulations shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction -
(a) for a first offence, to a fine not exceeding $1,000 and to a further fine not exceeding $100 for every day or part thereof during which the offence continues after conviction;
(b) for a second offence, to a fine not exceeding $2,000 and to a further fine not exceeding $200 for every day or part thereof during which the offence continues after conviction; and
(c) for a third or subsequent offence, to a fine not exceeding $5,000 and to a further fine not exceeding $500 for every day or part thereof during which the offence continues after conviction.
This would reduce a lot of the grimness I encounter in the loos at the office! Singapore has the death sentence, you know! I think it would be reasonable to make not flushing a capital offence. Perhaps execution by swirlie?