The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
On the canteen menu today was Steak and Mushroom pie. Sounds delicious, doesn't it?
none of the regular staff were working in the canteen today. The chef was on a course and the others were variously ill or taking kids to job interviews or on holiday. So the canteen was staffed by agency workers. A recipe for disaster! (Geddit? see what I did there?)
When I got to the front of the queue, it was clear that this wasn't actually the meal that was on offer. There was a large pot of what appeared to be stew. Fair enough, I thought. Stew is tasty too. So that's what I asked for.
'Hi. Could I have some of the stew, please?' 'Stew?' I wave over at the pot. 'Oh, the pie' said the man behind the counter. 'Certainly, sir. The pastry's just coming out.'
And the pastry did, indeed come out. Separately.
Now I may be wrong here, but isn't pie supposed to be... well... pastry with a filling? I feel cheated. Anyway, the 'filling' tasted fine. The pastry tasted oddly of shortbread, but that was okay, too. The guy's idea of 'just a few chips' is miles away from mine, though. I only ate about 3 of 'em and left about five million. Bring back my usual dinner ladies. They know what I like, dammit!
