The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Bikies tackle machete-wielding banditsMachete wielding masked bandits picked the wrong club to rob yesterday - 50 bikie club members were meeting there.
Police said the robbers raided the Regents Park Sporting Club about 8.50pm yesterday, ordering people at the bar to lie on the floor.
But the robbers failed to notice 50 members of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club enjoying a drink in the nearby auditorium.
"Fifty of us jumped out of our seats and raced out to the main bar," said club president Jerry "Jester" van Cornewal.
Robbers flee
On seeing the bikers approaching, the robbers fled. One sprinted past patrons playing poker machines towards the back of the club when he came to closed glass door.
He charged through the glass, leapt off a five-metre balcony and ran through a bowling green.
The other escaped through an exit behind the bar. But Jester ran to the back of the club, waiting for the robber to emerge from the back roller door.
"He came out the door wielding what I thought was a tyre lever, but was actually a samurai sword. I raced in and tackled him to the ground, footy-style, onto the concrete," Jester said.
The man wriggled free, but was pursued by Jester and two other club members named "Bulldog" and Brad, and was crash-tackled again.
The trio hogtied the man and waited for police to arrive. Police soon also located the second robber nearby.
Police today charged a 20-year-old Guildford man and a 16-year-old with the attempted robbery. They will appear in court this afternoon.
Biker club founder Noel "Bear" Mannix said the robbers appeared to have regretted attempting the heist as soon as they saw the bikers.
"It was one of those stopped-time moments," he said.
"It was very hard to see the expression on their faces because of the balaclavas, but I imagine it was something along lines of 'Oh shit, what have we done here?' "
The clumsy robbers appeared to have "failed robber school", Jester said.
Bikers were club regulars
Regents Park Sporting Club manager Eddie Kiosoff said the bikers had been regulars at the club for about a year, visiting a few nights a week.
"Hopefully we can have them here all the time now,'' he joked.
Mr Kiosoff expressed his gratitude at the bikers' bravery, and said he was considering "putting on a night" for them.
Families and elderly also present
Families and the elderly were also at the club last night, Bear said.
"We've just have enough of this. This club's been robbed numerous times.
"These guys with machetes weren't too worried about waving them around and scaring ladies and other families socialising at the club.
Patrons this afternoon expressed relief that a robbery attempt at the club had finally been thwarted.
"I'm just so proud of the boys ... the morality of not putting up with this sort of thing," Bear said.
"I think two or three of our guys should be put up for bravery awards for taking on armed men."
The Bear hoped the incident would also correct misconceptions about bikers.
"Even on one of the news things we were credited as being Hell's Angels, but we are far from that."
Most of the bikers I know around here (many of whom are my customers) have Concealed Handgun Licenses and the bandits may not have fared as well here as they did there...Armed robbery is not received well here and the outcome would likely have been a bit bloodier...
The Cut and Shoot Harley Owners Group (AKA H.O.G.'s) are particularly well known here in Montgomery County...They give generously of their time and money for charitable purposes and always serve as honor gurds at funerals of slain sodiers and Marines...I'm glad to see bikers elsewhere getting some well-deserved good press...
Truckman's note: For those unaware, Cut and Shoot is a small town close to me that is known for having the highest percentage of CHL holders in the state...Ben
__________________
"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr