The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
You lot call them 'cupcakes'. You're wrong, but you still do it.
Annoyingly, there seems to be a growing trend in the UK for using the american rather than the english word. Apparently English isn't good enough for the English.
I'm not sure of the how, other than I would hope it would be really quick. Like if a comet is gonna come crash in my town.. I'd like it to crash directly on my house.. so I'm squished immediately.
I just know that I'd rather not die a Darwin Award.
I once did a cream cracker eating competition at school and was awarded last place. Afterwards I noticed that I seemed to be the only one who was actually taking part in a cracker 'eating' competition, rather than just a cracker 'mashing' competition. I complained that everybody else seemed to have a huge pile of crumbs in front of them which was cheating, but I still was awarded last place
The saving grace I suppose was that I didn't choke on them... wonder if they will do risk assessments on these type of events in school now??
I think schools are the perfect place to hold these sort of... er... 'competitions'. If someone dies whilst participating, then they're clearly dumb and deserve to be taken out of the gene pool as early as possible. Preferbly before we spend any money educating them.
