The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Well my boss emailed me today to make sure I had booked in a meeting to review my performance over the last year - I mean really, how long can it possibly take to say "You are so fab its amazing, I mean you clearly operate at above your pay grade and I know I can rely on you to deliver - thanks again for another great year" really?
Anywho - it got me to thinking - firstly, who else here has to go through the motions on this one each year and whats your thoughts about them?
Secondly - maybe we should post on this thread a little summary of how 2007 went for us? the good bits and the bad bits and an overall rating? Then we could feed them in to God and ask him to try a bit harder for us all next year?
Who'd like to start?
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Every year I call myself into my office and tell myself what my strong points are and what I would like myself to improve on next year...Then when I ask myself for a raise, suddenly my strong points wither and my weaknesses are magnified as I tell myself that the company is struggling and I'll have to make do with what I have...
Things start to degenerate as I tell myself what an ungrateful skinflint I am and I usually wind up throwing myself out of my office and telling myself to get back to work...I don't look forward to it at all......Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
You're clearly a very ungrateful employee who doesn't undertstand the complexities of running a business whilst at the same time being a harsh taskmaster who runs a sweatshop. You should probably sue yurself. Twice.
I will have to go through the motions this year as well. Last year it went something like:
"Hi Dazza. Yes I know your target was to prevent 2 million pounds worth of fraud last year and that you actually prevented 4.5 million, exceeding expectations by over 200 percent, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to mark you down as only 'partially met expectations' because... um... well, you know... because you kinda neglected that little objective there that I told you not to worry about because I was so desperate to meet the £2m one on my own balanced scorecard. So you won't be getting a payrise. No, not even level with inflation"
Oddly enough, this past year, I haven't exactly pushed myself to excel at work...
...Ben
