The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."
heh heh heh...
Strangely, in context it's even odder...
Man 'marries' dog to beat curse An Indian man has "married" a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death. P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.
The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate.
Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organise weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses.
'Tried every cure'
Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai.
The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.
A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured.
"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC.
"He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.
"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."
Apart from the whole thing seeming somewhat bizarre (which I'll maybe put down to cultural differences), I am somewhat bemused by "vows were exchanged" - I would like to know how!
Linux: A European threat to our computers"Like most things that are worth owning, Computers are an American invention. Look at any modern computer and you will see that the whole thing is the product of American brilliance. [...] Im talking about a project called Linux, something you may not have encountered, but might do some day. Its a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group. [...] And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?
If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.
Next time somebody asks you how Al Queda agents pay for their rifles and rocket launchers, you can tell them that foreign hackers make software called Linux which helps them steal from Americans. [...] Finally, remember to include Linux users in your prayers tonight. As individuals we may not be able to change peoples minds, but the Bible teaches that God can make any sinner repent."
The comments at the end of the article are even funnier!
I would never use Linux. Its disgusting. I am using real AMERICAN software only. Everything else is for the Godless.
[Linux] is still the choice of terrorists, paedophiles and democrats.
No reason to answer these cretins, they are clearly all europeans.