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Post Info TOPIC: Story By A Man Standing In A Queue In Tesco's.


Dad



Yarrr...



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Posts: 552
Date: Sep 26, 2007
Story By A Man Standing In A Queue In Tesco's.


I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.


I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food!?


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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.


Teiam Member




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Posts: 2078
Date: Sep 26, 2007

LOL!

Bravo! That's the greatest thing I've heard all day.

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Killer Of Trees

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Posts: 291
Date: Sep 27, 2007

How on earth did you manage to come up with those lines on the spot... full marks for spontaneity! clap.gif

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Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree


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Posts: 2225
Date: Sep 27, 2007

Stop reading now if you don't want the story spoilt for you!

whisper.gifMaybe he'd memorised the from when he was first sent the joke?  Or maybe...


-- Edited by sha76jam at 21:05, 2007-09-27

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Dad



Yarrr...



Status: Offline
Posts: 552
Date: Sep 27, 2007

Catfish wrote:

How on earth did you manage to come up with those lines on the spot... full marks for spontaneity! clap.gif




 Twas easy I just cut'n pasted it from an email i got sent! wink



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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Sep 28, 2007

Ah - I thought it was you! fooled again

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Killer Of Trees

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Posts: 291
Date: Sep 28, 2007

HaloBurn wrote:


 

 Twas easy I just cut'n pasted it from an email i got sent! wink



Now I feel dumb...   doh.gif



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Dad



Yarrr...



Status: Offline
Posts: 552
Date: Oct 1, 2007

Catfish wrote:

 

HaloBurn wrote:



Twas easy I just cut'n pasted it from an email i got sent! wink




Now I feel dumb... doh.gif


 


 

Don't do that was just a bit of fun I should have stated it was an email.

 




 



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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Oct 1, 2007

Twas still funny. heh...

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Teiam Member




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Date: Oct 1, 2007

ddvmor wrote:

Twas still funny. heh...




 agreed :)



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I am the Jammie King!




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Date: Oct 2, 2007

Aodan wrote:
agreed :)
I concur with your assessment. nod.gif

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"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Oct 2, 2007

Aodan was agreeing with you though... ?

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Oct 2, 2007

I agree with that, too. nod.gif

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"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Oct 2, 2007

But I disagree

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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson



I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Oct 3, 2007

I don't. no.gif

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