The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
We have a dinner lady in our canteen named Julie. She's rubbish. She's also a very friendly lady who tries to be very helpful, but that doesn't change the fact that she's rubbish at being a dinner lady.
By way of an example... I encountered her 3 times yesterday - once to buy my morning cuppa, once for my lunch and once for an afternoon cuppa.
She got the morning cuppa right.
Lunch was interesting... during her efforts to locate the mislaid leek and stilton sauce for my turkey escalope, mash and vegetables (it wasn't as nice as it sounds - it's a staff canteen, remember), she entirely forgot to give me the vegetables. So when I got my dinner downstairs and opened the styrofoam carton, I found turkey, mash and sauce, but no vegetables.
Then came the ultimate travesty. I popped up to the canteen just before it closed for my customary afternoon cuppa and, rather then ordinary tea, she gave me Earl Grey. I don't mind Earl Grey too much as long as it has no milk in it, but when you're expecting ordinary PG tips with a splash of milk, an Earl Grey with a splash of milk is a pretty horrible surprise.
She was mortified when I mentioned the Earl Grey incident to her. I briefly considered mentioning my lack of veggies to her, but decided that her heart probably couldn't take it!
On the other hand, she does give me larger portions than anyone else and always saves me an apple!
One thing I always do is to stay on the right side of the dinner ladies and the security staff - even the fat one who's always grumpy. They're all in a position to make life very difficult indeed.
Be thankful you have a lunchroom in the building...When I need to eat, I grab two corndogs from the freezer, nuke 'em and call it lunch...Wanna trade places?......Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
Indeed. Always be kind to those preparing your food.
I had a friend who worked in a Dunkin Donuts in his hometown. He had to leave his high school because of harassment. While working there the same people that made him leave school would come into the DD and harass him while he prepared their coffee.
I don't think that people think. I'm a people and I rarely think. Especially about thinking.
It is very dumb to upset the staff.
I wound one of the security staff in my building up a few weeks ago by calling him over like I had something urgent to tell him - he had to walk up a very long corridor - and then simply saying 'hello'.
The next morning, my car park pass mysteriously didn't work and he just sat at the other end of the intercom and laughed at me until I begged and pleaded with him to let me in.
I made good friends with the security guards at my high school. Because I went to a different school in the morning, by the time I got back to my home school the parking lot was packed. But I made friends with the guard and he saved me the first spot every single day. He even loaned me a fiver when I needed to get gas one day.
Truckman wrote:Be thankful you have a lunchroom in the building...When I need to eat, I grab two corndogs from the freezer, nuke 'em and call it lunch...Wanna trade places?......Ben
Heh. I'm grateful whenever I look out of the window and remember that I work in Bedpanminger!
Aodan wrote:Being nice to people has it's advantages :)
Just beat the crap out of her, but come at her from behind so she doesnt know its you - then not only will you have the chance of beating some smarts into her but you can be sympathetic about it too! Failing all that - follow her home and kill her dog...
I'm people too by the way and I'm nicest
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
...Ben
