The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So in preparation for my upcoming visit to Washington DC, I did a quick google search on White House Tours. Pretty much the first web site I cam across was this one, which for a few moments, I thought was the official one, until I read a little further!
REGULATIONS FOR VISITORS: In addition to first passing the INSTANT FBI SECURITY CHECK, all White House visitors are advised to familiarize themselves with the following rules and regulations prior to purchasing tour tickets:
At President Bush's insistence, a STRICT DRESS CODE (below) is enforced at The White House. Visitors not in compliance with the code upon arrival will be denied entry. While you are welcome to take pictures of The White House grounds, both video and still photography are prohibited inside The White House. Furthermore, persons with photographic memories may be required to submit to one or more harmless injections. Persons licensed to carry concealed handguns and/or semi-automatic grenade launchers will be asked to stow their weapons in special V.I.P. storage lockers for the duration of their visit. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. There are no public restrooms in The White House. Visitors suffering from low bladder capacity or spastic colon syndrome are advised to seek out alternate attractions in the greater Washington DC area. For security reasons, personal wheelchairs are not allowed in The White House. Individuals arriving in wheelchairs must transfer to an appropriate Secret Service-approved model for the duration of their visit. Children must be accompanied by an adult at all times. Persons under the age of 18 left unattended will be subject to a vigorous body cavity search. In the event of encountering any member of the First Family (both immediate and extended) during a tour, visitors of both genders are required to avert their eyes and curtsey.