The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Australian customs officials have found live reptiles hidden in the hollowed insides of ceramic garden gnomes sent as gifts from England.
A total of seven snakes and eight lizards were found inside three of the pottery figurines.
The snakes, destined for two addresses in Sydney, were found when the parcels were opened by customs officials.
The two addresses where the gnomes were heading have been raided but no arrests have been made.
"When the package was opened, the officer spotted several snakes moving about. The package was immediately resealed," Australian customs said in a statement.
Due to quarantine regulations, all the reptiles were put down.
A special licence is needed to bring live reptiles into Australia.
People found guilty of smuggling wildlife into the country face up to 10 years in prison and a fine of 110,000 Australian dollars ($92,700; £46,700).
Maybe it's because it's early (here anyway) but it took me a while to figure out what I was looking at in that picture. Then I read the article and it made sense.
