The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, please make him a sandwich.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5 - Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you £50 and a substantial tax cut saves you 50p?
2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
In The UK they know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of cars in Britain. But we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. The idea is being floated that perhaps they should put their motor vehicle licensing people in charge of immigration...
My own thoughts on a few of these points!
10 - Life is Children are a sexually transmitted disease.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, please make him a sandwich.
I'd like a sandwich either way, please.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
This is genius! But, um... don't get any ideas, Stead!
