The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
As you may all know I'm currently working in the same building as the JDK (I'm honoured), which means that we both take the same route out of the city each day.
At the beginning of the week I came round a bend on a 'turnpike' in bristol to discover the JammieMobile parked up on the side of the road with another car and the JDK inspecting the drive (ehum sorry I mean 'damage') as it turns out he had roughly rear ended her (ooh er) at the junction.
Being the kind supporting and un-mocking friend I am - I pulled up to see if I could 'help' by inserting silly remarks and taking the p1ss out of the JDK (he said later he really appreciated it).
The damage to the car in front was insignificant but the JDKs dream machine was bruised with a broken light cluster and bent bonnet. It wont cost much to fix though - and you know why.... because the mighty stead is doing it!!!! o h yes - what can possibly go wrong!
Anyway - thats the purpose of this post - partly to tell you of the JDKs adventure and partly to let you all bask in the light of my immenseness
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
So YOU'RE fixing the car tomorrow Stead? JDK told me HE was going to do it. Can I come over and secretly film you both so I can prove who actually does the fixing and who makes the tea? Oh, better not make it tomorrow morning, because I'm going to be picking up my (ahem) NEW CAR
