The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
...Walk into a restroom at the opulent Omotesando Hills mall or the chic Matsuya department store in Tokyo's famed Ginza district, and you'll be struck by what you don't hear: the rattling of toilet paper being unspooled in the stall next door. That's because there's a new generation of toilets in place that clean you top to, er, bottom with a retractable, self-cleaning wand that shoots a jet of warm water. You control the temperature, pressure, and direction of that water with a keypad. Press another button, and the toilet dries you off with a blast of warm air...
...But these are more than toilets: They're like servants, raising their heated seats and lighting up when you enter the bathroom. Some automatically flush and then lower the seat and lid, so you don't have to touch anything.
Many of the toilets will offer a choice of preprogrammed sounds to mask any undesirable noises (fake flushing sounds seem to be most popular, but chirping birds are also a crowd pleaser). Another feature is automatic deodorizers that use activated oxygen to remove odors at a molecular level. The most sophisticated of these toilets will even monitor your weight, blood pressure, urine sugar content, and body fat-and send the data to your computer.
For Americans, it might seem intimidating. But don't knock it, says W. Hodding Carter, author of Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization. For research, he purchased a Washlet, the most popular line of these toilets, for his Maine home three years ago. "I shouldn't say this, but sitting on that toilet is actually one of my favorite things of the day now," he says.
So... who fancies a retractable tube quirting warm water up your jacksie? Meeee!
Ewwww! Their logic is a little flawed; "you don't have to touch anything" yet "You control the temperature, pressure, and direction of that water with a keypad". Will the next generation be voice activated? Anyway, what do you use to blow your nose on?
sha76jam wrote: Anyway, what do you use to blow your nose on?
Er... the keypad?
I'm a little concerned about any possible urinal designs they might come up with...
Incidentally... was anyone else having trouble with the posting page? I kept getting a 'c++ runtime error' every time I opened it followed by an instantaneous closedown of IE. Sems to be fine on the 'basic' version, so I've switched off the 'advanced' for now!