The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Our french friends have impressed us once again with their handling of a tense situation!
Ryan Giggs' late winner for Manchester United almost sparked a walk-out from angry Lille players at the climax of a controversial Champions League clash.
Giggs curled in a quick free-kick after 83 minutes while Lille were still assembling their defensive wall.
Lille players, furious that an earlier header by Peter Odemwingie had been ruled out, walked off the pitch as the last 16 first leg clash boiled over.
They eventually returned, and United held on for a crucial victory.
That's right. The french team said "If you don't let us win, then you can't play with our ball!"
This was the same match where this happened:
But the main talking point of a drab first 45 minutes were the worrying scenes involving United's supporters, with too many appearing to be packed in lower tier of the away section.
Dozens of United supporters were concerned, and French police appeared to respond to a genuine security problem by firing off tear gas.
Really, instead of smiting, I think you should use your time productively & invent someway of automatically recording a response for those times when we laugh, but have nothing to add. (Or maybe a "default reply" button - I'd make that amount of effort!)