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Okay my smooth talking skeptics, get ready to chat up that sweet honey hanging out at the bar wearing the “Charles Darwin has a posse” t-shirt. I’ve gone over your recommendations for the best Darwin-related pick-up lines, which ranged from jaw-droppingly nerdy to delightfully perverted. Here are my favorites, counting down to the winner, whose author will receive a belated Valentine from yours truly! You can read the rest of the hilarious lines in the comments section of this post. Here we go:

10.) From Dragonrock

Trust me Baby, my selection is ALL natural!

9.) From Expatria

Why don’t you unzip my pants and let me show you the descent of man?

8.) From goodguyseatpie

I saw you checking out my barnacle from over there. You know, if you investigate it, we could name it after you.

7.) From shagomir

I want to take you home tonight. I know it may seem impossible without the intercession of a creator, but if you’ll give me a chance, I can show you a sequence of small steps that will have the same result!

6.) From larsarus

You cause selective pressure in my pants. How about we split - leave these Neanderthals behind?

5.) From N.R. Miller

They say that the male nipple hasn’t got a use anymore. I’m sure we can come up with a trial to prove that wrong.

4.) From Blake Stacey

Girl, you so fine, you make me want to do a Cambrian explosion between your strata.

(tied with…)

Is that a finch in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

3.) From Joshua

Baby, I got just what you need: matching pairs of your beneficial but recessive alleles.

2.) From rustypouch

Without you, my organ would become vestigial.

And the number one Darwinian pick-up line, chosen because it was outrageously, deliciously dirty while still retaining a delightful hint of geekery that literally made me choke on my morning coffee. Drumroll, please:

Is it subverting our genetic imperative if you c*m all over my face?

This gem was submitted by azinyk, who offered quite a few other great lines that made me laugh out loud, including: “I don’t want to boast about my staying power, but by the time we’re finished, Kent Hovind will be out of jail” and “Let’s you and me co-evolve a symbiotic relationship … in my pants.” Congratulations, azinyk!

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