The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Taken from an internal briefing that was distributed this morning:
Do we think about what we’re saying and what it really means? This week, **** asks us in his update, “Do you use the word enabler in any of your plans or communications?” He then asks that if you do use the word, “What does it mean to you?”.
And as **** pointed out, “enabler” is passive, impersonal and implies that something is optional whereas “action” by definition means doing something, being personally accountable, and makes it clear that something will be done.
It seems many of you agree, the feedback we’ve received in response to ****'s update has included comments such as, “Hooray that we are attempting to get rid of the smokescreen of management speak within banking, use of such terms often masks inactivity so hopefully now our actions really will speak louder than words!”.
And another, “It’s always better to walk the talk, let’s see us action this and remove enabler from all future dialogue as quickly as possible”.
The Executive Committee fully support this initiative and have declared that taking effect immediately we will no longer use the word “enabler”. We will use the word “action”. And for every action we will prescribe who will do it and when it will be done, in order to build accountability.
Furthermore, “enabler” will be removed from printed material by 31 October, 2006.
In support of this initiative we are taking action and asking that you remove “enabler” from your vocabulary and from all written and printed material in future.
Hmm. I don't think I can in all good conscience use the word 'action' instead of 'enabler'. Here's why:
en‧a‧bler, noun
—Synonyms 1. empower, qualify, allow, permit.
and
ac‧tion–noun 1. the process or state of acting or of being active: The machine is not in action now. 2. something done or performed; act; deed.
They don't mean the same bloody thing. Lets just spend our days talking nonsense shall we, fer f**k's sake.
Does anyone else have examples of senior managers with nothing better to do than 'improve' the culture of the organisation.
Can anyone suggest any other words that we can replace with other words that don't mean the same thing?
This is similar but not just a word - in our project we have chosen to replace the phrase "Remove anything that looks damaging" with "Only present the things that are helpful to us"
Amazingly - the Exec think we dont see the difference...
I'm editing this post because a mate of mine at work just came back with this quote about the original post on this thread...
Scary and a waste of time all in one – well done them!! Let’s not ban the word ‘tw@t’ as we may need to use it again!
-- Edited by JonnyStead at 10:15, 2006-09-29
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
