The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A Bristol thief who stole copper cables from a British Telecom depot has been jailed for a year after breaching his suspended sentence.Gary Kiernan, of Hopewell Gardens, Lawrence Weston, stole the cables in Bath and was followed back to Bristol by police.
The 38-year-old, who admitted the theft, told officers he was going to sell the copper for scrap.
At Bristol Crown Court, in July, the defendant was handed a 42-week prison sentence, which was suspended for 18 months, with a supervision requirement and orders to carry out 120 hours' community service.
He breached the sentence by failing to turn up to two work and supervision appointments and returned to the court yesterday to be jailed. "He said he intended to sell the copper for scrap," said Mr Normington. He said Kiernan was in trouble with police again on Monday this week when he swiped eight Cadbury dairy milk bars from the Co-op store in Avonmouth.
The defendant was spotted pocketing the bars and was stopped by police in nearby Collins Street. He admitted the theft immediately.
Rupert Lowe, in mitigation, said his client's suspended prison sentence "went wrong" when he was kicked out of home by his wife.
He said Kiernan accepted that his suspended sentence would be activated. Jailing Kiernan for one year, including 10 weeks for the theft of the chocolate, Judge David Ticehurst said: "It seems you will continue to commit petty offences and continue to be caught and continue to go to prison for longer and longer periods."
Heh. That'd be a week and a bit per bar. Most people worry about it going to their hips. Anyway... the dumb people of Bristol strike again. I'm proud to be a fellow resident. Hoorah!
it strikes me that maybe he was dumb enough to be doing it on purpose? he just split up with his wife, wasn't sure how he was going to meet the bills this next year, or even know where he was going to live, so he decided he'd hang out with the gov for a bit and let them pick up the tab?
I picture a guy that's like the Peter Pettigrew character in the third Harry Potter movie. All rat like. Don't know why that is relevant. Just thought I would share.