The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A woman bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Watch this!" he said..."Nelson!" The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he continued... and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.
The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she'd say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said, "Beatles!" she'd get one of their awesome songs.
One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them. "Arseholes!!" she yelled... The French National Anthem began to play, sung by the Dixie Chicks, Jane Fonda and Michael Moore.
Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends All through their high school days Both members of the 4H Club Both active in the FFA After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin' for a bright new world Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl
Well it wasn't two weeks after she got married that Wanda started gettin' abused She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses And make-up to cover a bruise Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce She let the law take it from there But Earl walked right through that restraining order And put her in intensive care
Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta On a red eye midnight flight She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan And it didn't take long to decided
That Earl had to die Goodbye Earl Those black-eyed peas They tasted all right to me Earl You're feeling weak Why don't you lay down and sleep Earl Ain't it dark Wrapped up in that tarp Earl
The cops by came to bring Earl in They searched the house high and low Then they tipped their hats and said "Thank You ladies if you hear from him let us know"
Well the weeks went by and Spring turned to Summer And Summer faded into Fall And it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all
So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand Out on Highway 109 They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam And they don't lose any sleep at night 'cause
Earl had to die Goodbye Earl We need a break Let's go out to the lake Earl We'll pack a lunch And stuff you in the trunk Earl Well is that all right Good Let's go for a ride Earl hey