The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Well i finally got round to doing it today (oo err!)
Yup, thats right i cycled into work today, took me 15 minutes and if im truthful i dunno if i will ever recover
Nah just kidding, it wasnt that bad, apart from the legs feeling like jelly thing, and that funny feeling you get in you throat after e***cise and the nearly getting run down by traffic, not too mention how stupid the helmet looks perched on my bonce.
quote: Originally posted by: Susan "Presumably the new bike cycled admirably, it was just the heaving, racking, gibbering wreck on top that spoiled the illusion? "
quote: Originally posted by: Joe " How true that is! "
Well fair play to Joe it just makes us realise just how fit we were when we were kids! we could cycle all day and going up hill just meant standing on the pedals!
__________________
I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
How true Stead. Funny though, my memories of bikes are very different: I had 'borrowed' my sister's new bike. I was freewheeling down Alder Hill, the front wheel hit a pothole, I somersaulted as cleanly as Olga Korbutt right over the handlebars and successfully gouged a hole in my knee so big you could see my kneecap! I snapped the pedal clean off the bike & lost the basket too.
im recovered now - although i still have to get back home
That'll be a case of taking as many shortcuts as possible, up and down footpaths and generally holding on for dear life - thankfully its down hill for the most part
Aye- i thought that the bike would be easy enuff - i used to cycle 5 miles twice a day as a kid with no problem - god im unfit
It's amazing isn't it? I don't have a real bike at the moment (need to buy a new one) but I have a stationary bike in my apartment. 10 minutes on the thing and all I can think is "what was it I was supposed to be doing? ohh right breathing, yes, I should try that"
I have to admit I did exercise today - I ran round the house for a full 4 mins 40 seconds after 20 situps. You can stop laughing now, I know it's pathetic!
Well, my daddy left home when I was three And he didn't leave much to ma and me Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze Now I don't blame him because he run and hid But the meanest thing that he ever did Was before he left, he went and named me Sue
Well, he must have thought it was quite a joke And it got lots of laugh from a lot of folks It seems I had to fight my whole life through Some gal would giggle and I'd get red And some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean My fist got hard and my wits got keen Roamed from town to town to hide my shame But I made me a vow to the moon and stars I`d search the honky tonks and bars And kill that man that give me that awful name
But it was Gatlinburg in mid July And I had just hit town and my throat was dry I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew At an old saloon on a street of mud And at a table dealing stud sat the dirty Mangy dog that named me Sue
Well I knew that snake was my own sweet dad From a worn-out picture that my mother had And I know that scar on his cheek and his evil eye He was big and bent and grey and old And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do? Now you`re gonna die." Yeah, that`s what I told him
Well I hit him right between the eyes And he went down, but to my surprise He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear But I busted a chair right across his teeth And we crashed through the wall and into the street Kicking and a-gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer
I tell you I've fought tougher men But I really can't remember when He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile I heard him laughin' and then I heard him cussin' He went for his gun and I pulled mine first He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile
And he said, "Son this world is rough And if a man's gonna make it, he`s gotta be tough And I know I wouldn't be there to help you along So I give you that name and I said good-bye I knew you'd have to get tough or die And it's that name that helped to make you strong"
"Yeah, he said, "now you just fought one helluva fight And I know you hate me and you've got the right To kill me now and I wouldn't blame you if you do But you ought to thank me before I die For the gravel in your guts And the spit in your eye because I'm the son-of-a-bitch That named you Sue"
Yeah, what could I do? What could I do?
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun Called him Pa and he called me a son And I came away with a different point of view And I think about him now and then Every time I tried, every time I win And if I ever have a son I think I'm gonna name him Bill or George...anything but Sue
One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was. He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!" Immediately she was angry. She said, "Just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!"
So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy. "Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?" So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he asks, "Well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?"
The boy answers, "No, that's okay Dad, my ass is still sore!"
2nd day in a row now, and it was a lot tougher this time - my seat aint actually that comfy
Sooz, every little helps, i had great plans to do situps when i got home but my girlfriend foned and she has got a new puppy so i had to go round and play with it instead
Havent heard that song in such a long time either, its pretty funny
quote: Originally posted by: Joe "Sooz, every little helps"
Thanks for the support! Oh, and I should have warned you that it was likely to feel much harder on the second day, things always do cause the first flush of 'get up and go' has, well, gone.