The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR PIGS TO LOOK UP INTO THE SKY!
HORSES CANT VOMIT!
RATS MULTYPLY SO QUICKLY THAT IN 18 MONTHS,TWO RATS COULD HAVE OVER A MILLION DESCENDANTS!
WEARING EARPHONES FOR JUST AN HOUR WILL INCREASE THE BACTERIA IN YOUR EAR BY 700 TIMES!
A DUCKS QUACK DOES NOT ECHO,AND NOBODY KNOWS WHY!
23% OF PHOTOCOPIER FAULTS WORLDWIDE ARE CAUSED BY PEOPLE SITTING ON THEM AND PHOTOCOPYING THEIR BUTTS!
MOST LIPSTICKS CONTAIN FISH SCALES!
LIKE FINGER PRINTS, EVERYONES TONGUE PRINT IS DIFFERENT!
IN A STUDY OF 200000 OSTRICHES OVER A PERIOD OF 80 YEARS, NO ONE REPORTED A SINGLE CASE WHERE AN OSTRICH BURIED ITS HEAD IN THE SAND!
IF THE GOVERNMENT HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF ALIENS THEN WHY DOES TITLE 14,SECTION 1211 OF THE CODE OF FEDERAL REGULATIONS IMPLEMENT ON JULY 16 1969, MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR U.S. CITIZENS TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS OR THEIR VEHICLES!
OVER 75% OF PEOPLE WHO READ THIS WILL TRY TO LICK THEIR ELBOW!!
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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
ah, brainiac, the science show that looks for the answers to questions we never even thought of asking - like "Does looking at a womens breastsfor 15mins give you the same workout as running for 15mins?" or - "What type of fire extinguisher is pest for propelling a vehicle (office chair/ wheelchair)"
I've been cool DD, workload has been pretty heavy, I have posted a couple of things on UA, but that was cos the bloody help system for Excel VBA is up to it's usual standard of telling you what you need to do, but not how to do it.
Hopefully tho, come setptember, I'll have a lot more free time! Sorry I can't explain, I just aint got the time, but I'm sure Susan will fill you in
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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
The top gear with caravan darts had to be just as good
Explanation:
Top gear is a tv show about cars - on this particular show they decided to play darts with okld cars using the apparatus used in films to propel the cars through the air to a target marked out on the ground below them (they were at the top of a quarry or something) The two presenters shot two cars each and then to make it more interesting they put a caravan in the bullseye - the last car that was 'thrown' hit the caravan I cant find any stills though - it was hilarious!!
quote: Originally posted by: Joe "ah, brainiac, the science show that looks for the answers to questions we never even thought of asking - like "Does looking at a womens breastsfor 15mins give you the same workout as running for 15mins?" or - "What type of fire extinguisher is pest for propelling a vehicle (office chair/ wheelchair)" It was pure brilliance (cant find a link though )"
It is an amazingly coo-el program - thanks to DD for the headup. The walking on custard was pretty good. And the shell suits blowing up the caravan. Oh, and which foods produce the smelliest farts. The list is endless. The fire extinguishers on the office chair were the best so far!
quote: Originally posted by: Mitchell "I've been cool DD, workload has been pretty heavy, I have posted a couple of things on UA, but that was cos the bloody help system for Excel VBA is up to it's usual standard of telling you what you need to do, but not how to do it. Hopefully tho, come setptember, I'll have a lot more free time! Sorry I can't explain, I just aint got the time, but I'm sure Susan will fill you in "
I filled 'im in good & proper Mitch. Just for you mind!
I've been cool DD, workload has been pretty heavy, I have posted a couple of things on UA, but that was cos the bloody help system for Excel VBA is up to it's usual standard of telling you what you need to do, but not how to do it.
The help file's a pretty good reference if you know how to solve the problem.
Hi there Nate, I normally get on very well with help systems so I'm guessing it's because I'm not very up on the Excel object model and the available properties, but I am getting there...besides, I'm back on Access now
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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Hi there Nate, I normally get on very well with help systems so I'm guessing it's because I'm not very up on the Excel object model and the available properties, but I am getting there...besides, I'm back on Access now
