This guy was invited to a bachelor party but his wife didn't want him to go." Last time you went to a bachelor party you got totally blind drunk and vomited all over yourself, ruining a new suit", she said. "I promise I'll behave myself," he said, and begged and begged until finally she gave in.

So he goes along to the party and pretty soon he forgets about his promise and begins drinking Long Island iced teas. Before long, he's really feeling it. He tells a friend: "**** my wife will kill me if I vomit on myself" he tells a friend. "No problem," says his friend. "What you do is put $20 in the back of your wallet. If you throw up on yourself give the wife the $20 when you get home and tell her that someone else vomited all over you and gave you $20 for the dry cleaning.”

So the guy thinks this is a great idea and starts really hitting it heavy. By 2:00 AM he is ****faced. He has barfed all over himself as his wife expected he would. So he heads home and his wife greets him at the door.

"Goddamn it, you did it again!" she screams. "No, no you've got it all wrong! Another guy was so drunk he threw up all over me, but he gave me $20 to pay for the dry cleaning," he says as he hands over the money to his wife.

"If he gave you $20 how come you’re giving me $40?" "The other $20 is from the guy who shat in my pants!"