The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It can't be a ship."
The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It can't be a boat."
The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It can't be a raft."
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whisky?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"
At least they are so small it loks like I haven't got any unless I actually have tonsilitis and they swell up.
The number of times a doctor has asked me "When did you have your tonsils out?" and I always have to say "I haven't had my tonsils out - they're just very small".