The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A newfie is walking along the beach one day, and he sees a bottle laying in the sand. He picks it up and starts to brush it off, and out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes." The newfie thinks for a moment and says, "I'm feeling a might thirsty, I think I'll be wishing for a pint of stout."
POOF! There is a pint of stout in his hand. He drinks it down, and starts to throw the bottle, when the genie says, "I'd look at that bottle again before I threw it if I were you." So he looks at the bottle, and it is magically filling back up with stout. The genie told him, "That is a magic bottle, and it will always fill back up after you finish it."
The genie then asked, "What other two wishes can I grant for you?" The newfie looks at the bottle in his hand and says, "I'll be taking two more of these."
We had a funny incident on holiday with D's brother one year. Said brother decided to drink nothing but stout and see how long it took for his poo to go black (he didn't start drinking it until 2 days before we were due to go home).
He phoned me at work from his bathroom to excitedly inform me that his poo was indeed black!!
Actually it was probably the most entertaining phone call I've ever had at work although D does send me messages on my mobile from the toilets!!
That's nothing - I've had the most entertaining photo sent by that very same man to my little ole phone probably from the very same cubicle!!! I had to avert my little eyes!
I had to avert my little eyes! 
