The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
A guy in my work just got conned with this (ar5ehole!),
the old "I am the MD of some dodgy Nigerian company and have 5 million billion quid except I
cant get it out the country unless its in your bank, want some?" scam.
I was actually remoting on to his pc to disable his tinternet so he'd do some work and saw a letter he'd typed out in response, he was obviously quite far on with things as it was a contract containing his bank details and everything. I thought Id do the kind thing and told my boss who then sent out an email warning folk of this (I couldn't very well tell the guy i was looking at his pc could I? sackin offence youk know!)
Thing is though, found out today he'd been conned by the same thing a couple of months ago, AND he's from Africa!
Just bloody greed if you ask me, too busy thinking of all the cash he'd get to actually sit back and think, right, hold a minute....
You should see his cv, in fact i'll try to get it tomorrow and give you all a laugh. It states he is a professor of IT from Burundi Uni (?) and is responsible for practically everything IT-wise in our company. yesterday he asked me how to create a shortcut on his desktop, so work that one out!
Actually, I'm with Damo's original punishment here. About 99.9% of these scams involve the 'victim' willingly aiding an obvious fraud.
"DEAR GULLIBLE NUMPTYSIR
I HAVE BEEN GIVEN YOUR NAME IN GOOD FAITH AS A RISPECTABLE BUSNESS MAN AND WOULD LIKE TO ENGAGE YOU SERVISES IN A FRAUDULENT TRANSACITION.
I AM PRINCE ADOWULIE OLOWOYA SMITH A MANAGING DIRECTOR OF THE POTS AND PANS DIVISION OF SOME DODGY SOUNDING BANK IN A COUNTRY YOU HAVE NEVER HERD OF. I AM OPLANNING TO STEAL A ZILLION QUID FROM THE BANK. NORMILY I WOUL THINK UP A CONVOLUTED STORY ABOUT CUSTOMERS POPPING THERE CLOGS WITHOUT LEVING A WILL OR A BUSIONESS DEAL GON PECYOOLIAR, BUT FRANKLY, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED BECUS I AM COUNTIN ON YOU TO LOOK AT THE ENORMUS NUMBERR OF ZEROES IN THIS FIGURE WHAT I HAVE HIGHLITED IN BOLD TO MAKE IT LOOK MOR CONVINCING: $50,000,000,000.
IF YOU HELP ME STEAL THIS MONEY I WILL LET YOU HAVE SOME OF IT.
I AM AN HONEST FRAUDSTER AND OF COURSE I WILL NOT RIP YOU OFF."
What a nonce. You can tell him I said that. It is an official statement from the UK Fraud Prevention Community.
I'm sorry but that made me laugh outload at work - nice
JDK your sample email was also very good - why dont you get this guy to set up a website hosting his bank card details for everyone to use - maybe then and only then he will click what a gibbon he is being -
Beat him...
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
