Toes

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Toes

bonniepirateanne · Date: Feb 23, 2006

you..

stubbed.. your

... middle..

toe

on the floor!

maybe you're just clumsy mate?

bonniepirateanne · Date: Feb 23, 2006

i found this interesting information on the bbc website:

Really, there are four steps to protect yourself from stubbing your toe. They are listed in the order of how desperate an action is needed.
Stop Being Stupid!

Really folks, why are you being so dumb as to not look where you're going ! Pay more attention to your surroundings, it will save the pain.
Wear Shoes

The easiest way to stop yourself the toe stub is to wear shoes that protect your toes. Though it's only a thin layer of rubber and cloth, or leather, it can end your suffering.
Really Stop Being Stupid!

Just be really safe. Always watch your step. Is that too much to ask?
Move to the Desert

If you have failed to protect yourself from your own stupidity move to the desert. There you won't have to worry about stubbing your toe, because there is nothing you could possibly stub your toe on.

you can check it out here

having said that darren

move to the desert. There you won't have to worry about stubbing your toe, because there is nothing you could possibly stub your toe on

i don't suppose that would work huh?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Yeah. No. Don't think it'll work. I'll find the one thing in the desert I can trip on. A camel, perhaps. Or a nomadic tribe of... er... nomads...

JonnyStead · **"I'm Lois!"**

You'd still have to wear shoes or your feet would burn - so thats just silly...

You do fall down the stairs alot though JDK - is it linked to that? You do tend to get pulled about by the Moon's gravitational field influencing that gigantic rear end that you lug around behind you like so much ballast...

Zem YN3B · Really Bored Matress

I have a lovely herbal remedy for a good toe-stubbing:

First, strap a large, fresh cod to the offending foot, ensuring that the end with the lifelessly staring eye is pointed at the injured toe. If cod is unavailable, a nice herring will do, as long as you add sprinkle some gouda cheese on top. Next, grab a bucket and head to the nearest major public area (hint: a pub works best). Jam the bucket on your head and hop about blindly yelling, "Someone call me a bikini waxer, I'm headed to the beach!" in your best John Wayne imitation until at least four strangers are laughing out loud. You know it's working when you feel a sensation of utter humiliation. For best results, continue until arrested.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Hmm. I'm not sure that's actually a herbal remedy... I shall try it next time, though.

JonnyStead · **"I'm Lois!"**

I think you should try it now - well done Zem

Aodan · Teiam Member

I have stubbed my middle toe as well. Granted, I did it taking a turn around a corner too quick in the dark and actually slammed my foot into the corner of the wall. It was one of those wall bits that jut out to make a little alcove for something... in this case.. my piano.. but anyway.. that hurt like a biatch....I don't know if I actually broke my toe, or if it was just a wicked bone bruise, but that hurt for like a straight month.

Zem YN3B · Really Bored Matress

ddvmor wrote:

Hmm. I'm not sure that's actually a herbal remedy... I shall try it next time, though.

You mean fresh fish isn't considered an herb in your country? Hmm. Must be another strange British thing.

See rule #3.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

No. Fish are a form of currency.

Susan · Tickle me, Elmo! I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!

Indeed:
6 whitebait to a sprat
3 sprats in a mackerel
19 mackerel to a trout
2 trout in a salmon
and 4.879 salmon to a pike.

That's youse hedyoukayshun for the day

Zem YN3B · Really Bored Matress

Susan wrote:

Indeed:6 whitebait to a sprat3 sprats in a mackerel19 mackerel to a trout2 trout in a salmonand 4.879 salmon to a pike. That's youse hedyoukayshun for the day

And to think, all this time I was using rocks.

jenthered · Newbie (be nice to me)

Moving to the desert may be out of the question. You would have to deal with snakes and not to mention stubbing your toe on a nice, big, fat, hairy cactus. If you watch your step every moment you could end up banging your head on something. Stubbing your toes happens. It's probably so painful because your feet go through enough torture during the days and they can't take anymore, I mean really... wouldn't you be mad?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

jenthered wrote:

Moving to the desert may be out of the question. You would have to deal with snakes and not to mention stubbing your toe on a nice, big, fat, hairy cactus.

Hmm. Interesting notion, although as everyone knows, you don't get cacti in the desert. Their natural habitat is generally accepted to be the bathroom window sill - and I don't often go walking there.

Well...

Maybe only now and again... when the fancy takes me.

I have to ask... Jen the Red... what, exactly? Nose? Cheeseboard? Setter?

By the way, everybody, athough I have made a full recovery from my toe-stubbing incident, I have now acquired a sore nipple.

The left one.

Just thought you should know.

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

I was going to ask if you'd stubbed your nipple, & if so then how, but then I realised I didn't want to know!

Are you all over being ill now btw?

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Indeed I am.

And the nipple seems to be recovering nicely as well.

jenthered · Newbie (be nice to me)

Jen the Red. ........ head.
My brother thought of it many years ago..(a fan of Erik the Viking) It just stuck.

-- Edited by jenthered at 23:24, 2006-03-23

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Life must be interesting when you have a Viking stuck to your head...

Aodan · Teiam Member

ddvmor wrote:

Life must be interesting when you have a Viking stuck to your head...

Just imagine one in your womb!

Sean's Actual Sonogram picture from a year ago:

bonniepirateanne · Date: Mar 24, 2006

hahaha. good art.

jenthered · Newbie (be nice to me)

Sometimes it's quite painful. Neck pain is almost unbearable. However, it's really built up my muscle strength and it's always so easy to get a good backscratching! The bad part is paying admission for two everywhere I go. You have no idea how hard is it to convince people that we are really one.

Aodan · Teiam Member

Hehehe I can't actually take credit for that. My friend made that picture for me shortly after I showed her the picture. Because she's kind of weird

That picture is in Sean's baby book though

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

jenthered wrote:

Sometimes it's quite painful. Neck pain is almost unbearable. However, it's really built up my muscle strength and it's always so easy to get a good backscratching!

Hmm. Another disturbing image to add to the collection in my mind. Thanks for that! Out of interest, is your cojoined viking a boy or a girl? And mor importantly is he/she also a redhead? I only ask, cos if he/she isn't a readhead, then there's gonna be a nasty clash. On the other hand, if it's a he and a redhead, then you have a whole other ginger beard problem to worry about!

Aodan wrote:

Hehehe I can't actually take credit for that. My friend made that picture for me shortly after I showed her the picture. Because she's kind of weird That picture is in Sean's baby book though

It is a cool picture. And utterly convincing. Was the fork a problem?

jenthered · Newbie (be nice to me)

Hmm. Another disturbing image to add to the collection in my mind. Thanks for that! Out of interest, is your cojoined viking a boy or a girl? And mor importantly is he/she also a redhead?

Well, the viking is a she. No worries about the hair clashing because she is bald. Of course she does enjoy wearing a hot pink feather wig at times with her viking helmet. The feathers reak havock on my allergies. I hate it when she does that.

Aodan · Teiam Member

ddvmor wrote:

It is a cool picture. And utterly convincing. Was the fork a problem?

Not really. C-Section you know. They could have pulled out an entire Drakkar and I wouldn't have known either way.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Hmm. Drakkar, eh?

Don't even get me started on the bald cojoined viking with the hot pink feather wig fixation...

-- Edited by ddvmor at 21:39, 2006-03-26

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

jenthered wrote:

Moving to the desert may be out of the question. You would have to deal with snakes and not to mention stubbing your toe on a nice, big, fat, hairy cactus.

I was just in the desert last March, and I am pleased to report that I did not, in fact, stub any of my toes.

However, I did run into a cactus... I wish it was hairy, but instead it was rather prickly!! Ouch!

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

ddvmor wrote:

Hmm. Drakkar, eh?

Beware...

-- Edited by NateO at 21:09, 2006-03-27

BrianS · Still Number One

Speaking of the desert Nate, how was the trip to Vegas? Or has it happened yet?