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The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> JDBB -> The Jammie Dodger Bored Board -> Funny Jokes ....Unlike everyone else's
Post Info TOPIC: Funny Jokes ....Unlike everyone else's
VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

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Date: May 8, 2004
Funny Jokes ....Unlike everyone else's
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Q  What is the definition of blue tack?


A  Smurf poo


 


Q  What is the definition of a snail?


A  A bogey with a crash helmet on


 


Q  What is the definition of beans on toast?


A  Bald men on a raft


 


Q  What is the definition of a drawing pin?


A  A smartie with an erection


 


Q  What do you call a fly with no wings?


A  A walk


 


(Actually - these are the only jokes I know - I've led a sheltered life....)



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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oh dear...



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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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If you were a standup using those gags you'd get


(I've been dying to use that one and you gave me the perfect opportunity, thanks.)



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VicM


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.

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Glad to be of assistance!!


Does anyone else want to throw a tomato at me? - c'mon - it's a free invitation!!



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Mitchell


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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
NateO


Vice JDK
and Man of the People




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Those were awesome Vic!  



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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That's a lotta tomatoes, Mitch...

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Mitchell


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Yeah, I think I got a bit carried away

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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quote:
Originally posted by:
"Glad to be of assistance!! Does anyone else want to throw a tomato at me? - c'mon - it's a free invitation!!"

Well I thought they were ok as jokes go mate!




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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Not as funny as this, though!!!

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JonnyStead


"I'm Lois!"


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NOTHING is as funny as that!



And you can rock to it!



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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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I'm doin' it!  I'm rockin as we speak.  With 3-part harmony!  la la la!

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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quote:
Originally posted by: The King
"Not as funny as this, though!!! "

I want to like it.  I really do.  I tried it again just now, you know, differrent frame of mind, wipe the slate clean, put old prejudices behind me, give it a second chance and...


I just can't bring myself to sing along. Sorry.
At least give me some credit for trying.



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Sorry.  You just can't be trying hard enough.  What can I say?

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Maybe if "I had a little help from my friends"  or some alcohol perhaps?


I am trying hard. Truly I am. This girl can't try much harder.



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ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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You need more practice.  I recommend a course of badgers, followed by a diet of kenya.  Do it.  You know it's right.

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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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I don't like being thought of as a lesser being just cos it doesn't tickle my fancy. 
But for you, oh King and Master I will try again.

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Mitchell


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I'm sorry your royalness, but there are some things in life that I just cannot do, and unfortunately, finding that funny isn't one of them.  I am prepared to accept any punnishment you see fit for my failure...(Within Reason!!!)

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
ddvmor


I am the Jammie King!




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Date: May 10, 2004
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The required penance is obvious.  Badgers.  Lots of 'em.  All at once!


They bite, you know.


Has anyone else tried opening the badger page three or four times and getting them to sing in sequence?  It's cool!



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Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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I worry for you buddy.



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Mitchell


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psss..I hope your talking about DD



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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Date: May 10, 2004
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Yeh it was D.  I never worry about you darling - you're perfection.


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Mitchell


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Why thankyou darling...I learn it all from you

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Posts: 4936
Date: May 10, 2004
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So kind.   
What's for your lunch? I just had a slice of toast

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Mitchell


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I'm making Tuna and Mayo cobs if you would like one!

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Posts: 4936
Date: May 10, 2004
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  Sounds delicious.  I am sooooo lucky.

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Mitchell


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They're to DIE for, hope you like 'em

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Date: May 10, 2004
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I don't wanna die.


<In fact I have a morbid fear of dying>



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Mitchell


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don't worry love, it's only a saying... I'll look after you

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If a cat always lands on it's feet, and toast always lands butter side down. What happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat?
Susan


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



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Posts: 4936
Date: May 10, 2004
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I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

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