The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Just thought I'd float a half baked theory here... Now, here's the dictionary.com definition of spam:
spam
n. Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail. tr.v. spammed,spam·ming,spams To send unsolicited e-mail to. To send (a message) indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups.
It has occured to me this year that I have been the victim of an insidious spam campaign for years without realising it. Every year, this one included, I have been spammed by the greetings card industry. They're very clever about it. It's kinda like a sneaky virus that causes unwitting victims to flood their working colleagues with unwanted junk mail. What's more, and what makes this a particularly nasty form of spam, is that as the recipient of the spam, you are forced, out of politeness to simply accept this spam graciously and worse, display it prominently on your desk, thereby demonstrating to the world that you are a victim.
That's right, Christmas Cards are spam. Not all christmas cards - they do have their place, which I'll get onto in a moment. Specifically, however, those cards that are issued indiscriminately to all and sundry by office workers irrespective of whether they like the recipient. This is often done with the excuse 'I don't want anyone to feel left out'. I now have 21 instances of christmas spam on my desk.
Now I'm of the feeling that the world in general has been successfully convinced by the greetings card industry that it is neccessary to spend a fortune on bits of coloured card every year, for birthdays, christmas, easter, mother's day, father's day, granny's day, the only drink worth havingcher's day, secretary's day and, I noticed earlier this year, boss' day.
I have maintained for quite some time that, certainly in the case of Christmas, such cards are required only in the event that you will not be present around the time of the celebration in question, to send your best wishes to those friends and family that you will not see. Which is what I do.
