The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
During one of our many varied and intellectual conversations in the office, I was challenged to come up with 20 uses for a wooden spoon. Obviously this presented me with no problems and within a moment or two came up with the following:
Stirring implement
Scooping/Ladling implement
Smacking Children
Splint
Door Knocker
Back Scratcher
Throwing stick for the dog
Midget’s walking stick
Very small tennis racket
Planter (to make holes in the ground for seeds)
Hammer
Doorstop
Lever
Firewood
Puppet
To remove someone’s heart
Garden trowel
Garlic press
Flyswatter
Vampire killing stake
I thought I'd extend this most stimulating mental exercise to my good friends on the Bored Board. How many more can you come up with?
