The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Just got a call from an 'older' user (she's late 50's) saying a particular part of an Access system I did wasn't working. I remoted on to her PC and found nothing wrong, so did a site visit. Again I found nothin wrong at all with the system, but noticed her desk was MANKY!
I told her it was a temporary hiccup due to dirt in the database.
As i left she was out with the pledge and a duster.
Dont start me I've dealt with some classics over the years.
Back when I worked in support.
I had one guy phone going on about accessing a file and it was critical he get it, he was furious. having no luck trying to talk to him I visisted his office. walked past a Mac without a monitor, sure enough there was a monitor on the floor next to his desk. He ranted that the file was on the monitor from the other Mac and he had moved it onto his Mac to get the file.
I kid you not.
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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.
One of the support guys goes into an area office, not to look for problems, but decides to have some fun. He takes the area manager aside and tells him that all monitors must now be at least a foot above the base unit, cos data travells along the cables in binary format and (the good bit) when the cables are untidy and looped, sometimes the 1's get stuck allowing only the 0's through.
I had a call from a lady who complained that she would be typing away and suddenly the text would be all in upper case. Investigated this for ages and finally watched while she typed to witness it happening. Turned out she had been growing her nails and her pinky nail kept hitting caps lock, told her this and what does she say?
"Is there anything you can do about it?"
Erm no . lol
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I aint no wide eyed rebel, but I aint no preachers son.
