The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
It is my great pleasure to write to you and present my business proposal for your consideration and possible acceptance which you will find mutually beneficial to both parties. As an introduction, I am the Chief Engineer of the Nigeria Railway Corporation (NRC) the Chairman of my corporations contracts tender and awards board. I am happily married with five children, three boys and two girls and I have been in employment for the past 25 years during which time I rose to the official rank of Chief Engineer. I would like to request through this medium for your possible co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint business with you in your country. I have a substantial capital I earnestly intend to invest in your country in any lucrative venture of which you are to advise and assist execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us. My long-term idea is for you to become my business partner in your country and generate ideas on how money will be invested managed and the type of investments after the money is transferred to your custody with your assistance. You will present to me the best possible business opportunities that are secured and would guarantee good returns on investment. I am searching for a reliable, trustworthy and experienced partner for possible co-operation in development of business and investments in your country and beyond. My ideas and thoughts are centered on core areas of investments particularly:
1. Real Estate business, that is purchase, construction and subsequent sale of modern houses (residential and offices) and hotels in good locations.
2. Tourist business development
3. Mining, oil & gas (energy)
4. Manufacture of organic fertilizers and related agricultural chemicals.
5. Capital market that is trading in viable company shares / stocks
6. Information technology and communication.
I would therefore appreciate further information on your company, that is what your company does, what you propose to do with my funds bearing in mind my enumerated areas of interest and I shall appreciate your comments and thoughts about the investment opportunities in your company, country and beyond. The investment fund is in the sum of US$5.5m and this represents cumulative commissions I earned with my two colleagues in 1998 during our tenure as executive members of the contracts tender and awards board. The funds due to successive military dictatorial government regimes harsh foreign transfer policies could not be remitted outside Nigeria, but the enthronement of democracy recently in Nigeria and the return to elected civilian government created a good opportunity to move the funds out to a trusted person/company capable of generating sound investment advice. A memorandum of understanding will be drawn up between parties clearly defining the benefit ratio as we progress in this project. You will act as a conduit for the transfer of the US$5.5m, setup appropriate entities necessary for management of the said funds and advise as to the best investments to ensure maximum returns. For us to proceed with the transaction, you are to send to me the following information to enable me put up application for claims of the funds before the relevant government departments.
(1) Your full name and address (2) Your company name and address (3) Your mobile, telephone and fax numbers
Upon receipt of the above data, I shall process and obtain all the relevant funds transfer approvals within 10 days and the approved funds will be transferred to your designated account. I will then come over to meet you for the take off of the investment project. I am not a business man so I shall rely so much on you to realize my investment plans. I shall be glad to reserve this respect and opportunity for you, if you so desire, but do urge you to give the matter your immediate attention it deserves.
Please upon receipt of this business proposal kindly reply to my email address
Yours faithfully, Engr. Philip Eto
Er.... ok...
He has five children and has been employed for 25 years. He must be a good egg!
I get these ever other week, I just mail abuse to them!
Once I even played along for a while, they mailed me back to try and arrange everything, THEN I maild them the abuse.
In fact, there's a guy in here, refugee from republic of congo (honest!), same post as me but dosen't know a mouse from a keyboard, Im sure he's actually running one of these scams...
I had something similar the other day, except I thought I was supposed to send over more details, like account numbers, etc... So people do end up honoring the request, then?
Aye. We receive numerous complaints from customers who have taken these guys at their word.
What normally happens is that they exchange a few e-mails, maybe a phone call or tow, and even in some instances have a face to face meeting, in order to arrange the transfer of a huge sum of cash into their bank account. Then there's suddenly a last minute problem - a bribe that needs to be paid or tax or transfer fee - and the victim has to send ten grand or whatever over to them.
Oddly enough, they never hear from the scammer again. Then they wander into the bank and want to know what we're gonna do about it cos they've just lost their life savings.
Numpties. It isn't like people don't get warned about this stuff constantly in the papers, on telly, online. They're just numpties. That's all.
