The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Ok, so this is shamelessly stolen from someone's facebook status, but I quite like this plan:
Drugs Test (This was written by British Soldier- What he says makes a lot of sense!) I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay , I train for war and eventually deploy. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs, with which I have no problem. ... What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to EARN IT for them? Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope. Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?
Of course you risk making the benefits office stink of piss...
It's not a rubbish idea, but in practice you'll probably just set up a black market for clean piss. Your dealer will sell you a bag of weed and flask of piss.
Perhaps a blood test administered in the benefits office at the time of signing on is the way to go?
It reminds of a similar discussion I had around persuading people to vote. Basically, you get taxed an extra £500 every year. When you go to vote, your presence at the polling station is registered and you get a tax rebate for the entire amount.