The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So what's with these new 'Seasonal Edition' Walkers crisps, hmm? I've just bought a bag of pork and mustard ones for my lunch. What season is pork associated with exactly, cos I thought it was an all year round thing. I could understand turkey flavoured crisps in the run up to Christmas, but pork? Someone help me out here - I'm clearly not grasping this simple concept.
On the plus side, they're quite tasty and have a shiny, shiny gold packet.
Hedgehog mania has accounted for at least one business success story: Hedgehog Foods Ltd., one of Europe's biggest makers of organic potato chips, or crisps at the British call them. In 1981, Philip Lewis, a pub owners in Wales and devotee of hedgehog jokes, decided as a lark to produce "hedgehog flavored" crisps. Sales boomed, but it didn't take long for angry hedgehog lovers to blow the whistle, fearing that the crisps were actually made from hedgehogs. In fact, they were flavored with pork fat.
But then, in 1982, Britain's Office of Fair Trading hauled Mr. Lewis into court for false advertising. A settlement ultimately was reached under Mr. Lewis interviewing gypsies, who actually do eat baked hedgehog, ascertained what hedgehogs taste like and commissioned a flavorings firm to more or less duplicate the flavor. He changed the labels from "hedgehog flavored" to "hedgehog flavor," and all interest were satisfied.
Last year Hedgehog Foods had sales of $3.6 million and is now a major contributor to St. Tiggywinkles Hospital, plugging the hospital on every package. "Looking back, it was a bit gruesome, that flavor," Mr. Lewis concedes.
- reprinted without permission from THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, January 8, 1992 (page 1)
(St. Tiggywinkles is a hospital exclusively for hedgehogs, located in the English Midlands. Hapless hedgehogs are sent from all over, mostly through British Rail's overnight parcel service, which has a special rate for shipping injured hedgehogs.)
I like that last bit about the special rate for injured hedgehogs!