The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I've just been playing a very cool game with Rochester. Every time he jumps on the sofa, I push him off again. It's great and keeps both of us amused for hours.
Anyway, whilst playing this game, something occured to me; something that I'd like to share with youse all:
Hmm, I've been playing a similar game with Shad, though I'm not sure how much gravity is involved, the floor just happens to be the nearest available surface in any direction.
I was walking Rolfie on the top - about 50 yards from the edge, as I had done hundreds of times before. Suddenly, he took an unhealthy interest in experimenting with gravity and dove headlong over the edge.
Obviously at this point I suffered a cardiac arrest and ran to the edge of the cliff expecting to see his mangled body in a bloody heap at the bottom.
But no... he was down on the beach, tail wagging - looking at me as if to say 'Come on then. What are you waiting for? It's really great down here!'
I had to walk, like, a mile along the clifftop before I could get down to the beach. Had to keep calling the basserd dog, to make sure he kept up with me. Looked like a right numpty, I did!
You looking the fool is much better than smashed doggie bits ...
What is the exact definition of "numpty" anyway.. because I was forced to deal with some people the other day and the term "numpties" sprang to mind - and I just wanted to be sure I was thinking of it in the correct manner.
Numpty first surfaced on the terraces of west of Scotland football grounds, many many years ago. A player who couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel would be a f***ing numpty.
"Awww Jimmy you f************ing numpty!! You couldnae score wi' ma' sister!"
