Telemarketing Sucks...

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Telemarketing Sucks...

Batman O'Leary · A.K.A. Damo_Daly I have a cool name...

I recently got call blocking to stop these dudes but before that I resorted to just repeating eveything the telemarketer said to me or asked me, it **cucumbred** them off pretty quickly!

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

I find intense sarcasm to be particularly effective. They often don;t realise I'm doing it until it's far too late.

Almost as much fun as torturing small chil... er... playing with lego...

Susan · Tickle me, Elmo! I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!

ddvmor wrote:

I find intense sarcasm to be particularly effective... ...Almost as much fun as torturing small chil... er... playing with lego...

sha76jam · Cpt Acorn Short of An Oaktree

Oooh, I may just print out copies to leave next to my phones. I'm on the telephone preference thingy, but it doesn't stop Indian call centres, who apparentley have different rules. The most fun I have is getting them to hang up on me,current record under 10 seconds.

One weird thing I've noticed, they all have ultra English sounding names which I don't believe for a second are real. Is this meant to enhance my customer experience? Personally it just makes me inclined to boycott the companies they represent who have so little respect for their staff that they're not even allowed to use their own names.

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

Ask them if they saw Eastenders last night. Then express surprise that they show Eastenders in Mumbai before accusing them of being dirty, rotten maggot swilling fibbers.

Alternatively, the conversation could go something like this:

"Good evening. I wonder if you could answer a few questions."

"Only if you tell me something first."

"Alright."

"Is it true that you and the company you represent are a bunch of scabby, infected scrotal warts who have nothing better to do than phone me when I'm eating my tea and ask me inane questions about things I don't care about? Is it also true that your boss bathes in effluence and that he or she brushes his or her teeth with really really old cheese? Am I right in thinking that while your IQ is technically greater than that of a 3-month dead badger, this is only because because you and the rest of your organisation have pooled the twelve brain cells they could muster between them?"

"Er... yes."

"Are you going to leave me alone now, or do I have to come out to your country and hunt you down so that I can beat you into a state of pulpy near death with the base unit of your own telephone?"

"Er... I'll be off then. Sorry to have disturbed you."

"Bye!"

Um. That may have been a little extreme. But it'll work, I guarantee you.

Aodan · Teiam Member

scabby, infected scrotal warts

ok - that was an image I probably could have lived without.

-- Edited by Aodan at 04:46, 2005-09-06

Batman O'Leary · A.K.A. Damo_Daly I have a cool name...

Thats the thing with these Indian based centres, I called Norwich Union expecting to be 'quoted happy' the fekker on the other side of the phone hadn't even heard of Renault or Volkswagen for some reason and was soooo obviously reading his greeting and goodbye statements off a card. After I abused and swore at him for about 10 minutes he says,

"Thanks you sir have a nice day I hope I quoted you happy and you choose us in future"

YOU NEVER QUOTED ME ANYTHING COS YOU BARLEY KNEW WHAT A CAR WAS YOU T*T!

rant over.

BrianS · Still Number One

I had a buddy that used to do this (screw with telemarketers). Most of the telemarketers that would call were from a local telemarketing company that paid per call. My friend used to just try to keep the guy/gal talking as long as possible asking questions, talking about off-topic things, whatever. The telemarketer can't be rude in fear of getting fired and are being denied the chance to call more people and make more money. I know its kind of rude because these people are just trying to earn a living but they should have gotten different jobs.

Susan · Tickle me, Elmo! I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!

Why do people choose to become telemarketers?

NateO · Vice JDK and Man of the People

Not sure Sue-mate, but for U.S. residents, registering here makes sense:

https://www.donotcall.gov

https://www.donotcall.gov/FAQ/FAQDefault.aspx

ddvmor · **I am the Jammie King!**

We have the same thing over here - the telpephone preference service. But they can only regulate telemarketers based in the UK and more and more of 'em are calling from overseas... India mostly.

Zem YN3B · Really Bored Matress

Susan wrote:

Why do people choose to become telemarketers?

I was a telemarketer (unfortunately) for a while. Why? Easy. I needed money. It was a decent paying, entry-level job.

Of course, I hated it. You think you hate being called, imagine being the poor bloke that gets yelled at and hung up on a hundred times a day. My battered self-esteem is still recovering. Not really.

A special memory from that lovely place: The whole thing was on a computer (the script, etc) and when you finished the call you'd enter one of several options like: made sale, call again later, do not call, etc. I remember one day our boss took us all into a little room and told us that we were burning through the list of phone numbers we had too quickly, and we'd soon run out of numbers and then the company that paid our company to call on their behalf would be not so happy. So from no on, in order to mark a phone number as "do not call," we had to be specifically told "Put me on your do not call list." If the person instead said something like: "Don't ever call me again!" that wasn't a request to be put on the list and we were to mark that number as 'call again later.'

I quit shortly thereafter.