The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
After careful consideration of the pros and cons (and approval from the JDK, I might add) I snuck downstairs to liberate a glorious choccy delight from the vednign machine. I was feeling naughty and crazy and am playing squash later so decided it would be cancelled out.
While deliberating between a Twix and a Drifter, some git (who shall be named only as an old **CUCUMBER**er who clearly has nothing better to do) shouted out 'It's bad for you. You are being indulgent'.
At first I thought it was Stead, and was about to wheel round and offer a jovial poke in the eye. I then remembered he only exists online and on Jammie Day Outs, and focused on the offending old codger.
Grrrr. Should have bought the lot and buried him under it.
Was he some sort of chocolate activist? Did he have a placard? Was he chanting 'Stop the chocolatey evil'?
As for indulgence... perhaps you could have pointed out that the leather elbowed corduroy jacket that he was almost certainly wearing is also an indulgence - anything more than simple sack cloth in fact. How did he get to work this morning? By car? Pure indulgence. By bus or other form of public transport. Indulgence again. Should have walked.
Sitting on a chair at a desk? The chair is merely to indulge his sitting desires. There's no real need for it. If he wants to sit, he can bloody well sit on the floor. And the desk is just showing off!
If we weren't in the habit of indulging ourselves, we'd probably still be sitting around in the jungle or wherever wondering what all the fuss about this fire thing was...
Grrrr. Should have bought the lot and buried him under it.
