The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
The weirdness in the gents has resurfaced of late.
Just today I popped in to take care of business to find a man standing in front of the mirror watching himself stroke his own bottom. Not in a brushing off fluff sort of way but in a slow, sensual caressing sort of way. He was unashamed and continued to do it for a good thirty seconds until I locked myself in one of the cubicles. I was only doing a number one, but I was a bit scared and the inch of solid wood between us made me feel safer.
When I left the safety of the cubicle, he was gone. However when I emerged into the corridor, I saw the same man in the kitchenette across the corridor drinking water from a plastic cup. Was he doing it in a conventional way, I hear you ask. Nooooooo. He was pouring the water into his mouth from a great height.
...Ben
