The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
This was one of the more amusing stories of the day!
BNP facing Marmite legal actionThe maker of Marmite is threatening legal action against the British National Party to stop it from using a jar of the spread in a party broadcast.
Unilever said it had not given the BNP permission to use its product and was looking into taking out an injunction.
The BNP's online broadcast was removed from its website, but it can still be seen on video hosting website YouTube.
The party initially said the clip was a spoof, but then claimed it had not been responsible for adding the Marmite jar.
Mock election
In the broadcast, a jar of Marmite appears in the top left hand corner of the screen as BNP leader Nick Griffin addresses the camera.
In a statement, BNP leader Nick Griffin said the jar had "apparently" been inserted by "one of the people to whom we had given the broadcast to review".
He added that it was not included in the official version of the broadcast. However, Mr Griffin went on to say that the Marmite jar had been added in reaction to a recent advertising campaign for Marmite which he said mocked the BNP.
In the Marmite campaign two spoof political parties, the Love Party and the Hate Party, compete in a mock election.
The BNP claims the Hate Party was "clearly based" on itself.
"Quite simply, if you start a spoof, you should expect to get spoofed," added Mr Griffin.
"Although we are not responsible for whoever it was who inserted the Marmite jars into the internet version of the broadcast, we do see the amusing side."
Unilever said in a statement: "Neither Marmite nor any other Unilever brand are aligned to any political party.
"We are currently initiating injunction proceedings against the BNP to remove the Marmite jar from the online broadcast and prevent them from using it in future." Nick Griffin is utterly, utterly rubbish! And a racist bigot. And a wanker.