The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
So I got up this morning and wandered downstairs in search of some breakfast. I made myself a bowl of muesli, but was scuppered when I found I had no milk. So I reverted to my contingency plan... toast. Sadly, I was once again foiled - this time by the lack of butter.
Dammit. Without milk I can't even make myself a nice cup of tea. I may die.
The only thing left to eat in the house is a solitary mini-tub of cookies and cream haagen-dasz ice cream. I can't have that for breakfast... can I?