The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Found this on the BBC website this morning. He he he:
A Russian youth wearing a drag outfit which gave him improbably large breasts has been caught trying to sit an entrance exam for a female friend.
Moscow University security guards first thought the applicant had an oversized bust because "she" was trying to take crib sheets into the exam.
A search unmasked the false bosom, the university told the BBC News website.
The man was barred from the exam and the woman he attempted to cover for was struck off the entrants' list.
She had been seeking a place in the university's prestigious psychology faculty.
Heavy make-up
Yasen Zasursky, a head of department in the university's journalism faculty where the exams were being held, said the man's "especially protruding female features" gave him away.
"Someone was trying to sit the maths exam dressed as a lady," he told the BBC.
"The guard was suspicious that they were taking some materials into the exam. He opened the jacket and saw it was a young gentleman."
The youth was also apparently wearing heavy make-up.
Correspondents say cheating is a major problem in Russia's universities and colleges, where bribery is commonplace.
But Mr Zasursky seemed to suggest that the ruse was an appropriate one for the subject involved.
"They try to see ways of using their knowledge of psychology," he quipped.
At least that's what you said to the police officer when you were arrested for nude loitering next to the ladies public toilets in the town centre last week.