The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Ok. I have instructed all of your local supermarkets to provide you each with a packet of Jammie Dodgers in exchange for a bit less than one of your English Pounds. How generous am I?
We are so much in your debt, oh Lord and Master, oh bountiful and generous one, oh giver of gifts, oh shining knight, oh dragon slayer. Let me lick your boots, let me hold your ass (as in beast of burden) as you dismount <can I stop now?>
Watch it Mitch. You can't apostrophise in that manner in front of me - that's tantamount to blasphemy! DD will tell you why (if he's so inclined - you can't push a man like him into something he doesn't want to do). It's something to do with a rather cooeel Christmas present.
Yeah double D, spill - you should have realised that as royalty your every move, keyboard utterance and history will be dredged up by the press and revealed for the world to see - you too Vic cuz your married to him
So what is this gift that causes such an obsession with apostrophes?