The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I was forced to attend a gig in which one of my team mates is the guitarist. They're an 80's tribute band. I hate 80's pop with a passion. The set list on their website seems to be a list of all my least favourite songs. Their lead singer wasn't very good. The pub they were playing in was an absolute dive (the Cat and Wheel on Gloucester Road by the Arches, if anyone's ever been there) and appeared to be populated by zombies (actual genuine zombies with pale, dead skin and rotting bits) and students.
I was, however, most impressed by Phil's ability to play lead guitar without moving a muscle! Literally, for an hour and half, the only things moving were his fingers. It was a bit scary.
I will have to go into the office on Monday and tell him that I enjoyed the gig very much and that he was very good. I'll have to practice lying. Here goes:
Stead. You are very good looking.
Susan. Your boobs hold no fascination for me at all.
