The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
It's my first day back in the office after almost a week away - 3 days at the end of last week on a course and 2 days holiday this week. It's like I was never away. Except for the 60-odd e-mails that awaited me in my inbox.
So my question is this: Should I throw myself out of the window and get it over nice and quick, or should I slit my wrists at my desk and ooze blood all over the carpet to creat maximum inconvenience. Or should I go for something more elaborate?
That was a great movie. I avoided McDonalds beforehand. No you won;t get me near 'em. No, sir. If I'm gonna eat a heart attack inna bun it's gonna be from the guy with the dodgy burger van on the hard shoulder of the M4. Yeah.
