The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Yesterday, I was forced to kill some time in the local shopping mall while I had a new stereo fitted in my car (which is sweet, by the way).
I was interested to note that every demographic I could think of was repesented in the thronging masses there except one. I'll come to that one in a moment.
Old ladies had massive representation - I would estimate that about 25% of the people shopping there were old ladies.
Mums with Prams - these were everywhere, competing with the old ladies. The big difference here is that Mums With Prams tend to use the prams to knock people out of the way.
Teenage girls. Now, given that it was still term time (albeit the last day of the school term), I was kind've surprised to see so many of them around. They didn't seem to be doing much. Apparently it's cool just to wander around the Mall. I, personally, can't think of many things that are less interesting.
There were also a variety of other people - well dressed business persons, people in Burkas, a surprising number of people with crutches, one guy with an eye patch, who looked rather like Captain Birds Eye, one guy that looked exactly like an axe murderer, three body builders in skimpy vests (which looked kinda gay) and many others.
The missing demographic, you ask? I'll tell you. There was no-one present who seemed able to WALK IN A F**CKING STRAIGHT LINE!!!
This is why I hate the mall. Well, a few of the reasons anyway...
There's something strange about the mall... it seems to have some weird effect where the faster you walk, the slower you go... like you're on a moving sidewalk going backwards.
I only go there if I absolutely have no other choice, and I map out where I have to go and how fast I can get in and out before I even walk through the doors.
I don't really have a problem with it, but that's most likely because I get there, shop & leave while everyone else is still in bed picking their toenails.
Aodan wrote:I only go there if I absolutely have no other choice, and I map out where I have to go and how fast I can get in and out before I even walk through the doors.
:shiver:
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This - Anyone who thinks the mall is a form of entertainment needs their head looking at !
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I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson
Here a lot of older folks use the malls for walking exercise, and when it's 105 degrees outside I can understand the air-conditioned attraction...Evidently, kids are kids everywhere because they waste their whole day just wandering around our malls...I haven't been inside one this year but it's always a great place to people watch...
As for being able to walk a straight line, don't you people have military training anymore?......Ben
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"It must be mounted on a tripod!...It must be mounted on a tripod!" - Cmdr. Frederick Mohr
