The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Well, I'm not religious.. but my sister is and she sent this to me. I thought it was chuckle, or perhaps groan, worthy.
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curseword known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
Ugh I used to get that all the time. I worked for this recruiter (who was just an idiot) and at least once a week she'd bring in her daughter's laptop, drop it in my lap and say "she lost her book report.... go find it"
The other day my boss was working on a spreadsheet and it mysteriously vanished! Somehow he hid the active window (spreadsheet not Excel) without realizing it!
I sent this to a bunch of people when I got home and I pretty much got the same response you did when you read it I could hear the groan from my apartment.
quote: Originally posted by: NateO "...mysteriously vanished..."
Hmmm. This phrase is something of a common theme here in Bristol. We have one girl who uses a couple of databases that I cobbled together a year or two ago. They worked absolutely fine for ages, until about 6 months ago when she joined the department.
Since then I've been plagued by cries of "The database is broken" and "I can't find any transactions on it".
"Yes love. That's beacause somebody has deleted the entire contents of the transactions table. Probably when they were accessing it through the back end for no readily apparent reason."
"Oh, well I don't know who that could be. I never go into the back end."
I could hear the groan from my apartment.
