The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
I may have mentioned that my boss compulsively answers her mobile phone if it rings during a conversation. She can be in the middle of a conversation with me and then suddenly, mid sentence, he's on the phone to a random member of her family, explaining where their lunch is or some other vitally important thing.
I always just leave when she does it. To date, she hasn't taken the hint.
So... the old turkey of mobile phone etiquette... here are some hypothetical situations for you:
1. When using a public toilet, the person in the next cubicle is conducting a loud conversation on the phone. Is it your duty to have the loudest, most explosive poo in the world or do you ignore the conversation.
2. You're on the train, sitting next to someone who's spent the last half hour having a loud and pointless conversation on the phone about their love life, the weather and the (not very) funny thing that happened at a club last night. During this animated conversation, the offending party drops the phone onto the floor next to your foot. What do you do with your foot?
3. You are some sort of shop assistant. You are serving a long queue of customers. You have processed the sale of the man at the front of the line and are waiting for him to pay. But he's on the phone as have been on the phone since you started serving him. It's now been 30 seconds since you asked for £14.99. What happens next?
4. You are me, in a meeting with my boss. She answers the phone to her husband, mid-sentence and begins to explain how to prepare the instant noodles. Do you leave? Do you take the phone off her and explain to her husband that she'll call back? Do you sit patiently until she finishes and explain to her that while she was on the phone, she tacitly agreed to give you an enormous pay rise? Or something else?
