Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: The latest from HR


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Feb 22, 2005
The latest from HR


Dear Employees:


It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however. realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.


Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.


2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.


3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?


4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!


6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.


7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.


8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f______?


9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: this sh__ won't work.


10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?


11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.


12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD FO: Eat sh__ and die.


13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.


14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.


15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.


16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.


17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?


18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.




-- Edited by Susan at 15:31, 2005-02-22

__________________
Don't you just love it?


Proud House-Owner




Status: Offline
Posts: 1139
Date: Feb 22, 2005

I love a challenge.
I love a challenge.
I love a challenge.
I love a challenge.


Gotta get used to the new lingo



__________________


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Feb 22, 2005

Hmmm.  That's interesting.

__________________
The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


Vice JDK
and Man of the People





Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Feb 22, 2005

Oh my, mental note, don't read this while on a Finance conference call.

__________________
You can't polish a turd


Tickle me, Elmo!

I'm Roger Moore's Stunt Double!



Status: Offline
Posts: 4936
Date: Feb 22, 2005

Heh heh heh.  Happy to oblige Nate! 

__________________
Don't you just love it?


Vice JDK
and Man of the People





Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Feb 22, 2005

I thank you.


My ex-girlfriend caught me doing this (not sure which one... ), apparently I'm good for the following:





Nate: "Not necessarily."
Implied: "Not a f___ing chance."



Every time!



-- Edited by NateO at 23:56, 2005-02-22

__________________
You can't polish a turd


"I'm Lois!"


Status: Offline
Posts: 4979
Date: Feb 28, 2005

quote:

Originally posted by: ddvmor

"Hmmm.  That's interesting."

"I dont think you understand"....

__________________

I'll take arrogance and the inevitable hubris over self-doubt and lack of confidence.

"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face" - Mike Tyson

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard