The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however. realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f______?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: this sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.