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Post Info TOPIC: Home Remedies


Vice JDK
and Man of the People





Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Dec 31, 2004
Home Remedies


It is always important to have a plan of action ready in case an unfortunate event occurs at home. Here are some helpful tips that could really help out...


 


1. If you are chocking on an ice cube don't panic. Simply pour a kettle of freshly boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage almost instantly removed.


 


2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.


 


3. Avoid argument with the missus about lifting toilet seat by simply using the sink.


 


4. High Blood pressure sufferers: Make an incision in your left or right wrist and bleed yourself for several hours, reducing the pressure in your veins.


 


5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.


 


6. If you have a bad cough take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough


 

7. Avoid the mess when your toilet backs up, use the yard.

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You can't polish a turd


Baaaaa.
No, really - Just Baaaaa.


Status: Offline
Posts: 1561
Date: Jan 1, 2005

You've been busy looking all these up (or have you just been saving them up for a while?!!).

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Argh Snake.


Vice JDK
and Man of the People





Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Jan 1, 2005

Did a little research last night mate!

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You can't polish a turd


I am the Jammie King!




Status: Offline
Posts: 12736
Date: Jan 2, 2005

Useful advice, Mr Oliver.  I shall take it all on borad!

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The King has spoken... But nobody listened.


Vice JDK
and Man of the People





Status: Offline
Posts: 5453
Date: Jan 3, 2005

Cheers mate!

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You can't polish a turd
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