The following Dodgers have been smited by the JDK for their crimes against Jam:
All the girls! for picking on the JDK and damaging his already delicate self esteem!
The Basserd Who Nicked Copper's Stuff For the offense of nicking Copper's stuff. You are a tw*t, whoever you are and we all hope you get run over by a tram in Nottingham. Or Liverpool. Or whereever else they have trams!
Copper For the crime of playing with her Wii instead of her Jammie pals!
Not only did you call your boss and boss's boss skivers in writing, but you denied the entire rest of the office from having their rightly deserved cakes to celebrate your birthday on the mere promise of cakes next week instead.
I mean, it's not as if they had sticky buns and fresh cream cakes yesterday and will have them again tomorrow is it? Oh they did and they will? Oh, right. Ahem.
I'm just awaiting his highness to return home to open his pressies and delight in all his awesome gifts... I also want to go out for birthday food... I think he's at Stead's drinking tea...